Welcome
back (I hope you’re back) for the conclusion of our journey into home! My last post left us moving toward
April of this year, 2015, when our apartment lease was set to expire. We
didn’t have a down payment for a house saved anymore because the Lord invited us to a place of laying down anything that we could put confidence in other than Himself. Catch up and read Part 1 below if you'd like to hear it. We were confident that the Lord would bless our obedience to
the “ask” He extended to us to do something else with our savings, but His
blessing wasn’t why we obeyed. We
obeyed because we love Him and want to do what He asks of us, regardless of what
comes of it. That’s what love
does. If we’d obeyed simply to try to get Him to do something for us, it would have been manipulation. When Zach and I prayed over the check we wrote in January, all
that I could say was “Thank you so much Father for inviting me to this place,
for beckoning me to a place of trust that is deeper than any you’ve called me
to in this process yet. If nothing
ever comes of this other than you brought my heart to this place, is was worth
it.” Romans 4: 20 became my song
“Yet he [Abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God,
but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded
that God had power to do what he had promised.” I can confidently say that Zach and I were fully persuaded
that God would do what He had spoken.
This strengthened our faith and brought us to a sweet place of joy in
the Lord that we would have missed if we hadn’t said "yes". My heart’s desire is for obedience,
even if it makes me uncomfortable at first. Love pushes past discomfort and still says “yes”. I may have a melt down or two and even
question things in a moment of limited understanding as my heart is refined,
but I want to be a “yes” one. I
want to have a “yes” family and I want my life’s cry to be “yes” to any and
everything He asks.
April
came and we prayed again about what to do with our apartment lease. Zach felt like he heard that September would be a significant
month for us. I felt peace in my
spirit over that so we attempted to sign a least that would take us to
September. When we went to the
apartment management team to arrange a lease, they informed us that they could
only offer us a minimum of a 9 month lease (expiring in January of 2016- NO
thank you!) or we could go month to month on our lease agreement for a hefty
rent increase. We weren’t
expecting that at all. What
happened to a solution resulting in “September”? Often times when we hear from the Lord on a matter, the
enemy will try come in right behind that word and make us doubt what we
heard. That’s where we have the
opportunity to flex our faith muscles and continue to stand firm in confidence
of the Lord’s goodness. We asked
the Lord again and still felt peace about September so we went month to month
in our apartment and continued to look for homes over the Summer. The Lord was so faithful and blessed
our finances through that season in ways only He could. The end of Summer came and we had more
than what we needed to be able to close on a home again. Zach and I both felt an excitement in our spirits growing as
September arrived and we couldn’t wait to see what was in store. The first week of September passed by, the
second week passed by, then the third week came and my excitement started to
dwindle when we still no sign of a home.
I simply started to feel exhausted and confused. Had we misheard
everything? Are we looking in all
the wrong directions? Should I
lower the bar? “This isn’t a game
Lord! I can’t keep doing this
cycle of search, wait, repeat.” I had a breakdown
that third week of September and I told the Lord “I feel like I have no more
hope or joy for this process in my own strength. I’ve tried to claim, declare, believe myself through it, but
I’m at my end with this. I need
you to fill me with your supernatural hope and joy.” That is always the place
He loves to meet us – at the end of ourselves. That’s when He can show us what it is to be filled with all
of HIS fullness and not what we’ve tried to drum up in ourselves. There is certainly a time to stand and
be strong in battle but there is also a time to simply be still, put the sword
down, rest and let Him move for us.
The next morning I awoke with more joy than I’d felt in weeks. It was none of my own and all of
His.
That
very next week, the moment that the last 18 months had been preparing us for
finally arrived. (Let me pause
here and give you a high five for making it this far thought the story) We were led to our house! <>
Our house actually found us.
We didn’t even have to go out and search for it. We were contacted and asked if we would
like to see it before it was put on the market. If I’d have known it would go down like that I’d have saved
myself and our saint of a real-estate agent the energy it took to look at 80+
houses over the last 18 months! I’ll
be honest, it wasn’t what I thought I was looking for, but the moment I stepped
into it “the feeling” that everyone had been telling me I would have overwhelmed
me. I felt immediate peace. I heard friends laughing around the
dinner table, I saw movie nights in the living room, I saw kiddos running
around on the hardwood floors, I saw life. It was home. As
we’ve moved through the closing process we continued to be in awe over Father’s
faithfulness. Not only has he
given us our house, but he has poured out so much favor on the process of
getting us into it and making it home.
We have been left speechless several times already. We are so excited to grow our family in
it and see everyone He brings into this home to share life with us. Hebrews 10:23 has been on my mind for
weeks now “Hold fast to the confession of our hope with out wavering, for He
who promised is faithful.”
I share
my story hoping that it can be a testimony to anyone who might feel that they have
been in a journey of waiting and are “at their end” as they wait on the
fulfillment of a word the Lord has spoken. I know that feeling of exhaustion that can come during long
seasons of waiting while you hold on to a promise. Maybe you’ve been waiting for months or years. Don’t give up. Flex those faith muscles. Maybe like me, you need to ask the Lord
to open your mind to the possibility that He is fulfilling that promise in a
way that is different from what you’ve grown to expect. If we put an expectation on what it
should look like when the Lord shows up, we may not see it when He
does. Keep your heart open for any
way He may choose to fulfill His word.
If doubt has crept in and tried to steal your hope, go to the one who
will give it to you through simply being in His presence. “In [His] presence is fullness of joy” (PS
16:11) and “the joy of the Lord is our strength” (Neh 8:10) so run to His
presence and be strengthened with His joy. When you step into that promised land, every moment spent in
the dessert feels worth it. He
will not leave you in the dessert, He will lead you through it. He will bring you to the promise He has
for you. Hold onto your faith in
El Hanne-Eman – “The Faithful God”.
He won’t disappoint. Thank
you for taking time to read our home story! I’m going to try to post a few pics of the house as we fix a
few things up over the next several weeks. I’ll do my best to improve my posting frequency and get them
up before 2016 is here :)
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