A little black box full of promise

I’ve found myself using the “F” word quite frequently over the last 2 days.  Yep, “Fiancé” has been rolling off my tongue since last Saturday afternoon at 1pm.  Zach hit one knee & asked me to be his wife & I couldn’t be more ecstatic about the future we’re walking into.  It is so full of promise!  Everything about how our engagement went down was a prophetic act of the life that we’re entering into together & I want to share it because it is true for all sons & daughters of the King.

Zach can share his side of the story much better than I can, but long story short the place he had planned to propose at fell through last minute (Literally an hour & a half before I was going to be dropped off).  He knew this engagement was important to Father, so he knew there was an even better plan that was about to fall together.  He ended up being given FREE access to a roof top venue down town that usually costs an arm & a leg to rent.  That’s prophetic act #1.  Father knew the desire of Zach’s heart & it was a desire of His heart too so He prepared the way for a engagement spot that was better than anything Zach could have put together on his own.  Typical Daddy God right?  He is so faithful!

I was 99% sure I was getting engaged on Saturday but I had no idea how or when.  Zach told me he had to work until 4 so I knew it wouldn’t be until after then.  I had time to have a last minute lunch with my sweet friend Sarah & she took me to The Loft at Soby’s On The Side in down town Greenville.  When I realized we were walking to The Loft & not the restaurant I decided something was definitely up.  We got to the door & I saw a sign that said “Guess who didn’t really go to work today?”  Oh-my-lanta, here we go!  I knew what was going on.  I opened the door & there was a beautiful staircase lined with candles & roses leading me upwards.  I followed them to the roof to see my man waiting for me.  I bounced (literally) over to him & after some sweet words were exchanged he dropped to one knee & pulled out a little black box…

Before I continue, you should know that I had no idea what the contents of that box looked like.  I knew I just wanted to marry Zach.  I didn’t care if there was a plain metal band in there.  Ok, maybe I cared a little but I didn’t need a ring to prove anything to me about his love for me.  His actions over the last 2 years had proven that.  I know that Zach’s heart for me is 100% good.  I was ecstatic to become his fiancé.  And now that you’ve heard that, I can also tell you this:  anyone who is a woman or knows a woman also knows that we do love beautiful things.  It’s just how we’re wired.  I can’t help it J I didn’t need a beautiful thing to say “yes” to Zach, but it would definitely be nice to see a pretty ring in that box.  I’d wondered several times about what the ring would look like.  What girl doesn’t?  I’d imagined pictures of rings that I thought would match up with what we could afford.  Neither of us are high rollers by any means, but I knew I’d be happy with what ever he gave me because it was from him.

…Now back to the story.  All of those thoughts were flooding my mind while he held the unopened box infront of me.  The words “Will you marry me?” came out of his mouth & then he opened the box.  I was completely unprepared for what was inside.   It held a ring that was more beautiful than anything I'd imagined & that says a lot coming from a chick that can normally pick something apart in a minute flat!  Every detail was what I would have pictured if someone had asked me to describe my dream ring.   I was overwhelmed.

Please hear my heart here- I am NOT saying that an engagement ring should be fancy & frou-frou in order to be precious.  If that’s what you hear, you’re missing my heart.  The man giving the ring is what matters.  That’s why mine is so precious to me.  You see, the ring I received was given to me by Zach & by my heavenly bridegroom.  They both worked together to get it to me.  It was much more than what Zach & I should have been able to have on our own.  God blessed us with that ring & through it He said, “I have more for you than you could ever get for yourselves.”  It spoke directly into my heart reminding me of all the promises the Lord had given me to break off old fears of my past.  The ring yelled into my heart “You are CHOSEN for this.  You are WORTH IT.  You are PROVIDED FOR.  You are a Daughter-Queen.”  I found myself thinking for a moment, “This ring is too much” & I heard Jesus say “You are MY bride.  That makes you WORTHY”.  It is my ring of promise.  I get to have a reminder on my hand for the rest of my life that tells me how abundantly good He is to His laid down lovers.  When we lay down our lives before Him, He loves to surprise us with His goodness!  He stands before all of us with a beautiful ring of promise asking “Will you become one with me?”  When we say “Yes” to joining with Him & coming under His love that’s when Ephesians 3:20 comes to life in us.  It is posted under my blog title & I love seeing the ways Father fulfills that promise with each new day. 

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work with in us, to Him be the glory in the church (the bride) & in Christ Jesus (the bridegroom) forever & ever.  Amen” 

Here’s a little peek at what his proposal looked like J His sister, Molly, was a rockstar & took amazing pics.  Thanks Molly!

Last Pemba Post (Crazy to think!)

Abba has done so much over the last several weeks that I am truly at a loss for what to say.  I've attempted to start writing a post several times but I haven't known what to say or share. I could share a story or a testimony but every time I would start to type, I just couldn't find words to do justice to what Daddy has been up to.  It's been intense & wonderful.  This will be my last post from Pemba because, frankly, I want to squeeze every last drop of what He has for me out of my time here.

There is no way I could tell you in one post all Abba has done here but one thing is certain- He has changed me deeply.  I'm a different person coming home than I was when I arrived here.  I'm still Madison, but I've stepped into things He's been trying to awaken in me & heal in me for years.  He brought me to the very end of myself here & showed me how to operate out of His strength & none of my own.  I had to be brought low low low to be taken high high high.  He broke me to pieces & showed me the abundance- the richest of fare- that comes in dying.  When you die there is nothing, no strength, in you but He brings you to life by pouring Himself into every part of you.  The emptier I became, the better it got.  I'm more of the Madison He created me to be.  I don't know if there will be noticeable change to everyone around me but I know what is on the inside & I'm forever changed & marked by my King.  This time has been the hardest & most wonderful thing I've ever done.  I can't believe He called me to this & I got to come be smashed to pieces & brought to life.  It was heavy, it was deep, it was beautiful, it was perfect, it was holy.  I'm so thankful that he can take my little "5 loaves & 2 fish" life & multiply it.  It's what he does for all who will give all of themselves to Him.  You don't have to have a talent, a special gift, or even know what your calling is.  You just have to say "Here I am.  Here is all of little ol' me for you" & watch him multiply you to do the miraculous.

I am so excited to share stories & catch up with everyone at home & hear about your lives too!  I can't believe I'll be home in just over a week.  Pemba holds a place in my heart that not much else will be able to reach but I can't wait for what is coming next.  I'm taking all the treasure Abba has given here with me in my little jar of clay & can't wait to let him pour me out how ever He desires.  He's the beautiful one.  He's the Holy one.  He is worthy, He is worthy He is worthy to receive all glory & honor that comes from our jars of clay being broken before Him & our treasures poured out at his feet.

On a practical note, here are a few things I'm excited about coming home to: running water, a shower that's not from  holding a bottle over my head or the ocean, using a restroom that has a flushable toilet & that isn't infested with bugs that try to attack you while you are in an awkwardly vulnerable position, no bed bugs, consistent electricity, not feeling swet drip down your chest, back, legs, face all day long (including while you're laying in bed trying to fall asleep), working out & being able to be motivated by the option of a shower afterwards instead of demotivated by the though of having to take one, vegetables!!!, not having to have a group of 4 people to leave your home, having a car to drive places instead of walking or hitch hiking, not being woken up in the middle of the night by village people doing circumcision ceremonies or witch doctors, not biting down on clumps of dirt or an occasional bug in your plate, not having to carry toilet paper in your bag all the time...etc.  I could keep going but I'll save that for another post :) As much it sounds like those things are strange & uncomfortable I think I'll actually miss all of them a little bit (except the midnight witch doctor shenanigans).  They were part of life here & they made this time everything it was.  I couldn't have been brought to the end of myself with out them!

See you state side soon!  Lots & lots of love!
Madison