Name Calling

This is going to be a little bit of a confession.  Let’s admit it, from time to time, we all get into “funks” with the Lord as we grow.  It feels like you lose your peace & like there’s distance between the two of you but you can’t quite put your finger on why.  Well, I found myself there 2 weeks ago & it was pissing me off.  (Yep, I said it)  I hate that feeling!  I know the intimacy with Father that He’s given me access to through Jesus.  It is precious to me.  Now, I knew He hadn’t moved at all, so by deductive reasoning, if there is a feeling of silence, I’m probably the one that’s moved J

I was lying in my bed on a Tuesday & I was just ready for this "funk" to end.  I'd tried praying through it, done everything I could think of & I didn't know what else to do.  I decided to tell the Lord about it & started off with something like this: “Abba, what is going on?  I miss you!  I’m not hearing you like normal.  Father, this is so frustrating!  I’m done with this…”  and before I could even continue on with my sassy prayer He interrupted me and said-

“Do you hear what you just called me?”

Me: __________  (When he asks you a rhetorical question, you know its gonna be good)

Him: “ You just threw out names that sound nice: “Father” & even an “Abba”.  (Nice touch)  But how about you lose the scripted attempts for intimacy & call me something that makes you a little uncomfortable - “Daddy”. 

Me:  (Speechless)

It was the most uncomfortably perfect answer.  I realized the emotional attachments I had to the names I’d used for him weren’t intimate.  They were pseudo-intimate names I’d grown familiar with using. “Father”-  a little better than “Lord”...sounds sweet at first but its like you’re addressing a dad you’ve never met.  “Abba” – making progress.  This is “Da-Da” in Hebrew, & its what Jesus called Him, but He knew that for me, there was no emotional connection to that word.  I’m not Hebrew!  I was repeating what I’d heard others use hoping that I would continue to find intimacy in it.

“Daddy” – now that was one that was uncomfortably intimate.  I don’t even call my earthly Father “daddy”.  Its usually “dad” - a little more grown up & less vulnerable sounding.  Obviously, then, “daddy” was exactly what He would want me to call him.  It was as vulnerable, childish & needy sounding as I could get.  It made complete sense.  I awkwardly said out loud “OK Daddy.  I’m not calling you anything but that until you tell me otherwise.”  And just like that, I felt His presence all over me.

To call someone by an intimate name even when you aren’t feeling close can feel awkward, but the act of doing it is what helps restore the intimacy.  It was just what I needed from Him & it brought me right back into his lap.  What do you think?  Is there a new name for you to call Him?  Ask Him, & then push through the uncomfortable feelings.  He longs for you to press into closeness with Him.  Intimacy waits on the other side of the awkwardness.  Sometimes He wants to know if we will push through for it, so find that name that makes you feel childishly uncomfortable & say it.  You might be surprised at what you find, & in this case-He'll appreciate your name calling.

Give it a rest

We’ve all had it… the post vacation blues that hit us the Monday morning after our return. I had to give my self a major pep rally to get out of bed yesterday.  This past weekend, I came home from a 5 day beach vacation in Litchfield.  My boyfriend & his sweet family let me come along with them on their annual Litchfield beach week (appropriately hash tagged #brinsonbeachweek on all IG pics).  It was full of sun soaking, naps in hammocks, ice cream, day-dates with my man, ocean kayaking, & seashell collecting.  Amidst all of that, I was reminded that when all agendas, “to-do” lists, alarms telling me when to do something & pressure to cram 1500 things into one day are removed, there is sand to stick your toes in & rest to be had!

Rest is something that is hard for me to naturally come by.  I have to be intentional about it.  I’m an achiever.  I get stuff done.  I pride myself on cramming more into a day than most people can fit into a week.  Zach jokingly says, I only waist time if I’ve intentionally planned to waste time.  In my early 20s, I thought this was a fantastic approach to life.  After all, being a young single woman trying to make it in the world is demanding!  The more you can do, the further you’ll get, right?  Nope!  While there is some truth to that thought, it will kill you if you live by it.  I learned that the hard way.

Father continues to teach me that rest is the environment in which He does everything.  “Lovers get a lot more done than workers”.  When we learn to live in a state of rest with him, we’ll find that we get a lot more done on accident through loving Him than we ever could with a “do-er” mentality.  You see, He’s not concerned with what we can “do”, nor do we have to prove ourselves to Him.  He’s concerned with us realizing who we are & how we love & release His kingdom on earth in our everyday lives.  It sounds simple, but it’s taken me a while to let that sink in. 

Make time for your rest.  Value & prioritize it.  It is vital to maintaining your peace & staying in sync with Father’s rhythm.  He waits for you in rest.  Take it from a girl who’s learned the hard way:  it’s so much better to rest with Father, even if it means not getting to some things on your list.  You might even find that you didn’t really need to have them on there in the first place J  Father is excellent at trading burdens for rest.  “Come to me all you who are weary & burdened & I will give you rest.”  Matt 11:28  Take a risk, leave that last thing on your list undone & give it a rest.