Transitioning Well: keeping the main thing as the main thing

Today I was humbly reminded of the amazing patience & love of the Father in seasons of transition. Over the last two months Zach & I have been navigating another transition in life season. More had been asked of us by Father & we knew they were things for us to say yes to & partner with. One of our life core values is “Yes to Jesus at any cost.” But we know He always abundantly makes available the equipping needed for anything He calls us to. We were learning to balance “more” in several areas all at once.

In all my “balancing” & “partnering” I didn’t realize a subtle shift had begun to take place in my conversations & time with Father. They began to consist of prayers, scripture studies & seeking Him for ways I could manage transition well & find equipping for the responsibilities at hand rather than finding deeper intimacy with Him in the process. Seeking Him for guidance is wonderful & necessary but we can’t let a good thing replace the main thing - the main thing is always deeper intimacy with Him simply because we love Him & We want to know Him more deeply. When we focus on loving Him & receiving His love, the equipping & supernatural stretching of capacity happens naturally as a fruit of increased intimacy. He so faithful! He helped me see places in my own heart this morning where I’d been focusing on “good things” instead of the “main thing” & He so kindly & quickly brought me right back.

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.” 2 Peter 1:3. Did you catch that? We “receive all this (equipping) BY coming to KNOWHim...” (not asking Him for guidance a million times). In knowing Him, simply for the sole purpose of intimacy, we find everything we need for every transition, responsibility increase, ministry need, & season change.

I say all this in hopes that it can encourage someone else in transition, desiring to transition well. As we keep the main thing at the center of our heart, our capacity will expand supernaturally. You’ll find everything you need as you walk forward just loving & deeply knowing the Father. It sounds so easy & simple but if you’re anything like me, I still need the reminder sometimes 😊

Side note: can we celebrate that today is the first time in over 5 months that I’ve gone to have coffee WITH OUT my lap top! I didn’t want to create any opportunity for me to be tempted to work on anything. I could tell someone else “you have to schedule down time to take care of yourself” but I wasn’t practicing what I preach! It might have been the best decision I’ve made in 5 months 😉

Your “How” matters

 I’ve been reading through some of Genesis lately, starting where the Lord cut covenant with Abram. There, He reminded me of something so important for those of us who are waiting on His words over our lives to come to pass.  If you want to read along, check out Genesis 15.

Abram had just arrived in the land of Canaan, the land the Lord promised to give him and his descendants forever. The funny thing about that promise was that Abram had zero descendants at the time the promise was made and he was no spring chicken!  He was almost 80.   This is the moment in scripture where the land of Canaan became the “Promised Land” (Genesis 13). Years before any of Abram’s descendants ever existed, the Lord marked it for them. Over the course of the next several hundred years, Israel would be moved out of that land, put into slavery for 400 years, delivered from that slavery, return to the land of Canaan, uproot all its inhabitants, and settle in it as the Promised Land. What a ride.  The Lord is faithful to keep His promises.

In chapter 15, the Lord is preparing to cut covenant with Abram. “The word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision…”. The first thing to note is this: Abram received a clear word from God.  The Lord told Abram, an old childless man, that his descendants would outnumber the stars. This promise seemed opposite of Abram’s natural reality (well, because it was). Look at Abram’s response to that massive word. His response is the same one we are called to have when the word of the Lord comes to us. “Abram believed the Lord and He credited it to him as righteousness.” When the Lord directly speaks a word to us, we have two choices: question it, or believe it and grab it with both hands. What makes the difference in how we respond is what we focus on when the word is given. Do we focus on the “what” that was spoken or the “who” that said it?  If we let the “what” take precedence, words can feel “too big”.  When we focus ourselves on the “who” that spoke the word, we can be confident no matter how massive the word is, it’s as good as done. The Lord lives in the cosmic-sized miraculous.  Acknowledging that the creator of the universe has just given you a promise makes even the most immense words seem easy. He can not lie and He is always faithful. Abram knew this by faith and He grabbed His promise.

Have you ever had a word from God over your life like that? One that seemed massively opposite to your present circumstance? How did you respond?  For me over the last few years, one of those big words has been “Mother”. In the natural my circumstances say I may never be a mama, but the Lord has repeatedly spoken the word “Mother” over me for going on 4 years now, between 3 miscarriages. When circumstances say it can’t happen, faith and hope say “Watch what my Father is about to do”.  Our response to the word of the Lord in our life shows our level of trust in Him and our value for His word. As we "walk by faith and not by sight”, faith illuminates our path to show us where to place our feet. My feet are being planted on a path to Motherhood. I refuse to step off that path because I know what Father has repeatedly spoken to me in the secret place. If you have a promise from the Lord, grab it and don’t let it go.  Remember who it is that spoke it to you. Give it the honor it deserves.

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Now lets get to the part where the title of this post comes in. We’ve seen the back story. Abram knew that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars. The Lord cut covenant on that promise.

I can imagine Abram started off confident in that word, standing firm in his belief of it. Who wouldn’t when the Lord himself visited you and cut a covenant with you?   Slowly, however, something began to happen.  Time passed. 10 years came and went and the Lords word hadn’t even began to come to pass yet. I don't care how patient you are, 10 years will start to feel like a long time.  Abram arrived at a fork in the road and his decision changed the course of history.

“Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, 'The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.' Abram agreed to what Sarai said.” (Gen 16:1-2)

He allowed someone to convince Him to “help” the Lord’s word come to pass by taking matters into their own hands. This is what I want to focus on. When we have a clear word from the Lord, LET HIM BRING IT ABOUT no matter how long it takes. The “how” matters tremendously, not just the “what”. Abram heard the word of the Lord, but He didn’t hear a “how”. When his patience (or his confidence) grew thin he tried to create a path for himself.  That self-carved path led to generations of pain in Abraham’s family even though it looked like it was creating the outcome of the word of the Lord.  I’m not spinning scare tactics here.  The Lord is good and He can redeem all things, but I do want us to see the seriousness of staying yielded to the Lord in every step.  When God speaks a clear word, I believe He cares as much about how it comes to pass as the outcome. Much of His transformative work in our lives happens in the “how”. The “what” often takes time because He has purpose in how it comes to pass. Please hear my heart, I’m not saying run around paralyzed and scared to take any steps. Pursue the Lords promises with passion.  I believe the will of God can be vast in many areas and often times He allows us to make decisions because He trusts us, but we have to stop, ask, and listen. We have to weigh our choice with the Lord. If something looks like it could be an opportunity for a word He spoke to come to pass, don’t make an assumption. Stop and ask Him if that is your step. This helps keep us from self-promotion (forcing a word to happen outside of His plan) and choosing seemingly “good ways” over “God ways”.

You have a word from God over your life, and that's wonderful! Celebrate it, believe it, treasure it, hold onto it for dear life. Just don’t force it. In my waiting on His word of “Mother” in my life, I’ve had many opportunities to attempt to make it happen: more extensive medical interventions, adoption, assuming the word was just in reference to spiritual mothering… you name it.  Each of those are wonderful things and I'm all for them. I have dear friends who the Lord has told to pursue those things and it was obedience for them to do so. But I know in my heart, because I’ve weighted each of those options with the Lord, that He hasn’t told me those are my paths right now.  Who knows, maybe they will be tomorrow, but I'm responsible for my obedience in today. How His word comes to pass is as important in His plan as the word itself.  We see it in Abram's life, and we can see it in our own.  When we stay confident in Him and keep our ear tuned to His voice, we'll never feel the need to rush the Lord or try to take matters into our own hands. Often His path is longer, wild, but more brilliant than anything we could come up with. His “how” is as trust worthy as His “what”. Our job is to stay yielded & surrendered so we are ready to say yes to each step of His “how”.  For any one who is waiting on a promise to come to pass, I'm with you.  I hope this encourages you to be confident that His plan is in place, even if you can't see evidence of it.  His "how" is beautiful.

SEEING Our Victory

Lately I’ve felt the Lord tell me it’s time to study Deuteronomy again because it’s lining up with a new season we’re walking in. I was praying this morning before I dove in for today & asked the Lord help me have eyes to see the things He’s hidden for me to search out. He was immediately faithful to answer that prayer & I wanted to share:

In the beginning of Deuteronomy, Moses begins to recount to the Israelites how the Lord delivered every one of their enemies into their hands so they could take possession of their promise. (Testimonies of Gods past faithfulness fuels our faith for future breakthroughs) They conquered many kings & took their land because the Lord gave them supernatural victory & delivered each one to them. I can imagine, however, that very first battle, before they’d seen tangible evidence of how the Lord would bring victory, was a little nerve wracking. They were no army to match the military forces of kings when you looked at them in the natural, but they’d been commanded to fight. Sounding like a familiar situation to anyone?

In Deut 2:24 it recounts the story of that first battle. The Lord told Moses “SEE I have given into your hand...the king & his country. Begin to take possession of it & engage him in battle.” The Lord spoke His assurance of victory to Moses before they ever stepped towards the battle field. Before they ever moved to battle, the Lord was declaring the outcome, but even after the Lord told Moses to go fight, Moses was hesitant. That was a big command that would mean death for Israel if it didn’t come to pass. Instead of going straight to battle (prompt obedience), Moses sent message to the king to see if he would let them peacefully pass through his land. The king refused. The Lord spoke to Moses again “SEE I have begun to deliver the king & his country to you...conquer & possess it.”

One word kept jumping out at me the the Lord repeated to Moses: “SEE”. He wasn’t speaking this as if He were annoyed with Moses’ hesitation saying “See, I told you so”. He was commanding the eyes of Moses’ spirit to “SEE”! It was as if He were healing him of the blindness of doubt & opening Moses’ eyes to higher truth. “SEE in faith that every word I speak will come to pass. SEE the battle through the lease of my faithfulness, not the natural probable outcome. SEE your victory Moses!”

As I read & re-read, I heard the Lord saying the same thing to me: “SEE Madison!” He was summoning my spirit to full attention to look in fullness of faith over areas of my life where a battle was taking place. I believe He is declaring it over many of us. “SEE!” It is a command & a healing word. He commands us to see our lives through the lens of His spoken promise & as we do, the blinders of fear fall away. The bold confidence of a warrior rises. If He said it, we can SEE it in faith & march into what ever is ahead, even if victory hasn’t manifested yet in the natural. Maybe He’s commanding you to SEE today? Is there an area of your life that you need to adjust your lease & SEE through eyes of victory? See your victory over every weapon that would rise against you as you journey to your promised land. “He who promised is faithful.”

Due Date Anniversaries & Hope

The day before the 4th of July- a day of planning fun activities & time with friends & family celebrating the freedom we’ve been given. I love all of those things, but for me, today holds A little more than holiday planning.

Today is the anniversary of my first baby’s due date. If she had come into this world, she would have turned 2 today. Her name is Ezra. Her name means “my help” & becoming pregnant with her changed my heart & my life, even though hers was so short lived. She helped my heart come to life in a powerful way. The mama heart that rose up in me was filled with a joy & fierceness like I’d never felt. Even though I didn’t get to hold her, I still miss her. She made me a mama.

Miscarriages are such a hidden grief. Most people don’t ever see them. There are few “symptoms” that show what a mama is walking through. What I am so incredibly thankful for is the presence of Jesus & how he sees every place in my heart than no one else does. When most have forgotten what happened or never knew in the first place, He sees & grieves with me. He comforts hurts that no one else knows are there. He is “El Roi”: “the God who Sees me”. He sees every hidden hurt, every tear of grief & heartache. He not only sees, but he is so very near. His presence is what is promised in heart ache “he is near to the broken hearted” (Ps 34:18). 

I can recall countless times over the last three & a half years & three losses, where I felt his arms tight around me & His hands pulling me into His chest as I cried out my grief. I felt his pleasure pour over me as I heard the negative report of a doctor & I chose to respond by pressing into Him for comfort & faith to hope again. He is the great Shepherd who knows how to perfectly love & lead us through grief & heart ache.

In every one of my losses, He has been a comforter & healer of my heart like nothing else could come close to being. He is the reason I can look towards the future with fullness of hope & confident expectation of good, despite reoccurrent loss. He is my hope, not an outcome. I can acknowledge this day, missing my sweet girl, but also with peace & hope in my heart that Jesus is still only getting started with my family’s story ❤️

I re-read this post from a few years ago that I wrote as an encouragement for anyone who feels they are waiting on a promise.  I'm sharing the Link Here for anyone who might need a reminder to keep hoping when all you seem to see is desert. Jesus is our treasure there. 🔥

Declaration of a Butterfly Bush

She declares her resilience.

This is my butterfly bush. Up until three weeks ago, she happily resided in my front yard. I planted her there three years ago and she grew tremendously. I was consistently pruning her because she was quickly outgrowing her space. This Spring I decided to do something a little more drastic in order to allow her to grow to more of her full potential. I chose to move her...to a new space, new soil, new exposure to sun. She would have room to grow as big as she wanted if she could survive the transition. I decided her potential beauty was worth the risk.

I took a shovel to her ground and began to uproot her, trying as carefully as I could to protect her roots. A few of them were holding on so tight to the old soil that I couldn’t take them with me. I had to cut them. I hoped the rest of her was strong enough to recover from leaving some pieces of her in the old soil.

I planted her in the new unfamiliar ground and I watered her everyday. Despite my watering, over the next week all her leaves wilted. Over half of them turned brown and dropped off. She was in “root shock”: The state a plant enters into when they are abruptly moved out of their comfy rooted spot and put into an unfamiliar place where they have no grip. I was sure I’d killed her for the sake of giving her freedom. Regardless of how she looked, I watered. Everyday, I showered her hoping to see a sign of resilience.

Week 2 came and went with no change. Brown was her covering. Still I watered and believed. Then, week 3 arrived and I began to see a shift. Fresh green was faintly emerging from her browned branches. I watered & watered. Today, I went to check on her and to my joy, I found a gift. A tiny purple blossom holding its head high. Her declaration to me that she was resilient. Her shout that she could go through hard things and come out thriving. She would bear fruit even on the other side of upheaval and letting go of her familiar. She was willing to go through the discomfort of transition to experience the joy of new freedom. Space to grow and become as big as she wanted to be. The strength she developed in the transition would be what sets her up to be able to grow to new heights.

I’ve always said gardening is so spiritual to me. Jesus meets me in the dirt every single time and this experience was no different. As I celebrated her tiny blossom with Him and thanked Him that she was not only going to survive but thrive, He said to me “Yes I know. Isn’t she amazing? She is you.” 😭🙌🏼 And isnt she all of us who are overcomers? If you’re going through an upheaval in your world, receive her blossom as yours today ❤️You were created with resilience in you.

“The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” Is 58:11

“Anticipate the call”

Hey friends! This is a little bit of a different post for me so I just wanted to give you a heads up before you dive in :) One morning recently while I was worshiping, the Lord showed me a picture that steadied my heart in the season I'm in. In my heart, I feel so strongly that there are some others in similar seasons that it might speak to so I want to share in hopes that it blesses you! Here we go...

During worship, Jesus took my spirit's eye to a picture of me on the ocean in a well made sail boat. The skies over me were cloudy and the water was deep gray and very choppy. I wouldn't call it an all out storm but the water was rough enough to make you stay cautious and alert to everything you needed to be aware of to sail steadily. I was mindful of the wind's speed and direction, each rope, the sail position...there was no passivity. I looked out onto the ocean around me and suddenly Jesus appeared standing on the water about 25 yards to the side of my boat. Immediately I heard Him say “Anticipate my call.” I knew He was asking me to let go of the boat so I began to ready my heart to step out of it. I let go of the "ropes" and shifted my focus from steering/navigating to readying my feet to step out of a secure place. He hadn’t called me to step yet, but He wanted me to know He was going to and He wanted me to be ready to be immediately obedient.

Here’s what I felt He was saying to a specific situation in my life, and maybe its for some of you too. There has been a course we’ve been on, some of us for years, that is a good course. Its a course He called us to. When we started out, He gave us the blueprints for our "boat", helped us build it, and taught us how to sail skillfully in it. We've been sailing in obedience but He is getting ready to call us out of that boat. Its not just to change course, its to abandon ship all together. We follow His presence. We can’t let ourselves get so attached to the boat He’s helped us build that when He calls us to a new place, we hesitate or act surprised that He's asking us to leave. It’s not about our "boats", it’s about His presence and following Him. We rarely see Jesus on the shore when we’re in the boat (heck most of the time we can't even see the shore! There's no safety net except Him. #amiright?). We always see Him on the water. He is always doing the impossible and calling us to follow in faith. “Anticipate the call”. When we see Him on the water, we should never be surprised that He calls us there, even if it means leaving behind something we’ve felt Him help us build.

The other thing I felt Him highlight is that He said “anticipate my call” not “jump out as soon as you see me.” The words he chooses to speak to us are intentional and precise. The timing of our “abandon ship” is important because His timing is always strategic. If we see him on the water, we shouldn’t assume we should go ahead and jump. Listen for His voice. Once He lets us know to anticipate a change, its our job to ready our hearts to be obedient as soon as He says it’s time. Anticipate means “to realize before hand; to expect; to be sure of.” Anticipating His call (realizing and being sure He is about to transition us out of something and into something new) readies our heart to let go of a boat we've grown to value when He says it’s time. It takes the shock factor away when He asks us to do something that seems crazy to the world. Sometimes He shifts things on us immediately, but sometimes He gives us an opportunity to prepare for what He’s calling us so we can be ready. Don’t waste that time. Press in if you feel Him telling you to anticipate change. He's emphasizing that is vital for your heart to be ready. Let go of the things you might be clinging to that aren’t for the next season. Loosen the ropes on securities that you’ve allowed your heart to stand on that He may be calling you out of. Be ready to step right out of your boat as soon as you hear Him say “Now”. He is always trustworthy and worthy of immediate obedience. You can be sure He is taking you from glory to glory. What ever He asks you to step away from, you can guarantee what He will take you into will be immeasurably better. It’s His nature to upgrade.

In this season of anticipating His call to "come now", I want my eyes to be so fixed on His beautiful face that I don't even think about looking back at what I will leave behind. His gaze has captivated me for life and I want my eyes to always be fixed on the prize of His presence. Regardless of what I step away from, He is worth it. Every step made in obedience gives Him more from our life and positions us in deeper intimacy with Him. He is so worthy. Maybe you're in the same boat with me (see what I did there? :) Couldn't help myself!). If you’re seeing him on the water and He's told you He's going to call, ready your heart. His call is coming at the perfect moment. When He tells us to abandon ship, it’s because we’re about to walk on water. I'm praying for all of us going through a transition and that we would give Him everything we can from our lives in this place.

This is one of my favorite Summer vaycay pics featuring my handsome hubby and thought it was pretty fitting!  Walking right into the waves, not worried about the clouds, fearless.

The Fruit of 2018

I’ve been asking the Lord to give me more of His eyes to see the fruit from 2018 in my life. 2018 was so very hard. The kind of hard that isn’t because of any one thing but multiple things happening one after the other that you never ever expected. We had losses, disappointments, places that I had hidden identity in for years that Father removed (for my good but still painful!), things I valued being laid down, steps that didn’t turn out to be anything like I expected...So many tears fell last year. I’m so glad it’s behind me. But with great challenge comes great overcoming. No matter how much around us seems to be lost or falling apart, we are more than conquerors because our strength & peace isn’t in a circumstance, a dream being fulfilled, a family, a job or even a calling. It is in Jesus & only Jesus. We always have Him.

When I asked Him to help me see more of the fruit of what He sowed in me last year, He showed me something I want to share. I hope it encourages anyone else whose 2018 was different from what you hoped for:

I saw a picture of me walking in a dark room with a blindfold on. That’s how so much of last year felt. But the whole time I was right beside Jesus with my hand on his shoulder. When He moved, I would feel Him shift & I’d shift myself to continue in line with His step so that my hand would never leave Him. He never spoke a word. He didn’t have to. Because of how close we were walking together, he didn’t have to guide me with words, he guided me with presence. I kept my hand on the Great Shepherd & He led me. I moved with the pull of His movement. I walked where I sensed His presence. I didn’t need to see anything.

I so desired to be led by His voice that I forgot how well He can lead with out ever speaking. The voice leads wether you’re near or far from Him. He can speak & we will hear it even if we aren’t next to Him (just like we can do with each other.) But being led by His presence means we have to be close enough to touch. It’s actually a result of intimacy. Don’t get me wrong, I adore His voice. It’s the most beautiful sound you’ll ever hear. Sometimes He leads us with it. But sometimes He leads only by presence- taking your hand in His, beginning to move, and smiling as you follow. That is trust- no explanation of the movement, simply stepping together, confident that He is taking you where you exactly where you are supposed to be. 2018 felt like one long exercise in that but I look back & Im so thankful. When I thought 2018 was feeling like a lesson in perseverance & steadfastness, I see it was actually a lesson in dancing with Jesus. He is my life long lead & He doesn’t have to tell me what dance we’re doing for me to follow. I want to always be in His arms, moving where He moves. He can dance with me on top of joy or disappointment, and what is under my feet doesn’t cause me to trip because of who is in my arms ❤️🔥 My Great Shepherd is Lord & Lover of every step of my life-dance.