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Monday, January 1, 2018

Choosing the higher reality



I’m getting a head start on one of my 2018 goals and that is to post a little more frequently so that it doesn’t take you all an entire afternoon to read one of my semi-annual posts. This is me starting off on the right foot :)

Part of the journey that I’ve been sharing over the last year is our journey to becoming a mom and dad. Today I had another moment with Father that came from a step in that journey that I feel like is for me to share. We’ve been hoping to conceive for almost two years (with a miscarriage a year ago at Christmas) and we’ve sought Jesus in each step of this journey as to what we should be doing or not doing as we navigate this season. We know His desire for us is to be a mama and daddy. We know our desire to be parents is from Him and He will fulfill it. He is fiercely good and faithful and we have our feet and hearts planted firmly in that truth, no matter what circumstances seem to shout. He has done so much in our hearts that there is no way I could relay it all here but one of the big things He’s rooted more deeply in me in this season is this: Hope is a choice. Only when our hope is in Jesus and nothing else is competing for our hope will our hearts truly be able to thrive in hard seasons. Is it wrong for me to hope to be a mama? No way! It is a beautiful desire that Father has placed in my heart. I just cannot put more hope in the possibility of conceiving that I put in Jesus and allowing all my contentment to be found in Him. Even if I never conceived and became a mama (even though I know I will), my heart would still thrive. He is the source and object of my hope. He gives me hope, and I in turn, place it all in Him. I choose that cycle daily. Receive hope from Him & put my hope back in Him.

Up until November, we had not felt like it was time for us to pursue fertility physicians and treatments. As we prayed through October, we felt a shift in our heart and we began to feel peace around that choice. We started that part of the journey in November and I began to under go a series of tests to check all the different factors that contribute to the ability to conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy to term. The Lord was so near in all of it. What could have felt anxious and worrisome felt peaceful and hopeful as I went through each test. One by one, they ruled out factors that could have been inhibiting a pregnancy.

Earlier this week, I had the last test of the series scheduled and for some reason I felt a little nervous about it. Part of it may have been that this was the last thing they could test to see if something was wrong and I wondered what they would see? I’d been positioning my heart in the peace and presence of Jesus all morning. As I drove to the doctor’s office, I worshipped and thanked Jesus for my body and that it was created to be fruitful. I thanked Him that He was my great physician and that my body was in His control even above the doctors. He is my higher reality, no matter what a physician report would say. I wanted to be anchored in that truth before I ever heard a result from this test. I arrived, parked my car, walked into the doctor’s office, and was escorted back to the treatment room.

As my doctor conducted the test, I closed my eyes and just focused on Jesus. I thanked Him for His goodness to me. I thanked Him for His peace. I thanked Him for holding my hand in that room and being with me in the painful moments. I thanked Him that no matter what I heard in the next few minutes, He is my hope and His kingdom is my reality. I choose to believe and put my faith in the fact that a medical report is not my highest reality. It may be the reality in the natural, but my reality in the spirit is that I’m “fearfully and wonderfully made”. I’m designed to “be fruitful and multiply”. I’m created “in the image of God” and “no weapon formed against me will prosper”. The spiritual reality trumps the natural every time. Its not denying natural circumstances. It is declaring in the face of them, “you are not my highest reality”. The kingdom is my reality and I get to choose daily to elevate my perspective to match heaven’s perspective over my life.

The test concluded and I felt my heart’s perspective lined up with heaven’s. I was ready to hear what ever the result was. The words that came out of my doctor’s mouth next, I distinctly heard come from two places. I heard the voice of my doctor speak it but I also heard the voice of my Father declare it over me: He said “There is nothing wrong with your body”. In that moment, I heard Father’s voice even louder than my doctors. The final test was done and the results were all in – there is nothing wrong with my body. I was very aware that there could have been something wrong with me at some point in this journey, but I am healed and whole in Jesus. It didn’t matter if there had never been anything wrong, if I’d had something wrong and been healed or if the report said that there was still something wrong & I would need medical help. My reality is that I am whole in Jesus. I felt something be lifted off of me in that moment. It was like the enemy was waiting to pounce through discouragement but He was kicked entirely out of the building. Discouragement couldn’t touch me in that moment because I’d chosen my higher reality – the reality of heaven’s declaration over me.

I share all of this because I feel like some of you are where I was this week in your heart. You may be facing a circumstance (weather physically or in your heart/emotions) that makes you want to ask questions and wonder what is going on. I want to encourage you to hear the reality that heaven is speaking over you. In Jesus, you are whole & healed. Its one of the exchanges Jesus made with us at the cross: “He was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our iniquity…and by his stripes we ARE healed.” (present tense friends!) The enemy would love to get his sidekicks of anxiety, fear and doubt on you but you have a choice. You can rise above them to a place where they cannot touch you by aligning your perspective with heaven’s perspective over your life. God doesn’t look at you and your circumstances and fear the enemy. If He doesn’t, and he has given us the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16), then we can conclude that we shouldn’t look at our circumstances and fear the enemy either! We’ve been given the mind of Jesus, lets live from it. You might wonder, how do you shift your perspective? A great place to start is by positioning your heart in thankfulness. Thank the Lord for who He is to you & for you. Second, declare the promises of scripture over yourself – you will feel your heart move to be in line with the truth when you do this, I promise. The word is powerful. The word of God is the sword of the spirit – our offensive weapon (Eph 6:17)! Keep doing it until you feel the shift. And third, worship Jesus. Even when you don’t “feel like it”, choose to worship. This takes your heart’s eye off of your circumstance and puts it right on the King.

I’m with you in this choice today. I’m cheering for you! You CAN choose to believe a higher reality than what your natural circumstances are telling you to believe. Position your heart in thankfulness, declare the word of truth and worship precious & mighty Jesus. When you choose to agree with the Spirit of God and what He is declaring over you and your circumstances, watch how your heart responds. I’ve prayed for you while I wrote this post and I am confident your perspective will be lifted to be the same as heaven’s perspective if you will choose it. We can experience this because of grace. Jesus opened the door for us to have His mind and His perspective in any situation. May you see the joy, hope and peace that Father sees when He looks at your life. He is thrilled about your future in Him and you can be thrilled about it too. He has “immeasurably more than all you can ask or imagine” in store. Shift your perspective and see it for yourself

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