Abba has done so much over the last several weeks that I am truly at a loss for what to say. I've attempted to start writing a post several times but I haven't known what to say or share. I could share a story or a testimony but every time I would start to type, I just couldn't find words to do justice to what Daddy has been up to. It's been intense & wonderful. This will be my last post from Pemba because, frankly, I want to squeeze every last drop of what He has for me out of my time here.
There is no way I could tell you in one post all Abba has done here but one thing is certain- He has changed me deeply. I'm a different person coming home than I was when I arrived here. I'm still Madison, but I've stepped into things He's been trying to awaken in me & heal in me for years. He brought me to the very end of myself here & showed me how to operate out of His strength & none of my own. I had to be brought low low low to be taken high high high. He broke me to pieces & showed me the abundance- the richest of fare- that comes in dying. When you die there is nothing, no strength, in you but He brings you to life by pouring Himself into every part of you. The emptier I became, the better it got. I'm more of the Madison He created me to be. I don't know if there will be noticeable change to everyone around me but I know what is on the inside & I'm forever changed & marked by my King. This time has been the hardest & most wonderful thing I've ever done. I can't believe He called me to this & I got to come be smashed to pieces & brought to life. It was heavy, it was deep, it was beautiful, it was perfect, it was holy. I'm so thankful that he can take my little "5 loaves & 2 fish" life & multiply it. It's what he does for all who will give all of themselves to Him. You don't have to have a talent, a special gift, or even know what your calling is. You just have to say "Here I am. Here is all of little ol' me for you" & watch him multiply you to do the miraculous.
I am so excited to share stories & catch up with everyone at home & hear about your lives too! I can't believe I'll be home in just over a week. Pemba holds a place in my heart that not much else will be able to reach but I can't wait for what is coming next. I'm taking all the treasure Abba has given here with me in my little jar of clay & can't wait to let him pour me out how ever He desires. He's the beautiful one. He's the Holy one. He is worthy, He is worthy He is worthy to receive all glory & honor that comes from our jars of clay being broken before Him & our treasures poured out at his feet.
On a practical note, here are a few things I'm excited about coming home to: running water, a shower that's not from holding a bottle over my head or the ocean, using a restroom that has a flushable toilet & that isn't infested with bugs that try to attack you while you are in an awkwardly vulnerable position, no bed bugs, consistent electricity, not feeling swet drip down your chest, back, legs, face all day long (including while you're laying in bed trying to fall asleep), working out & being able to be motivated by the option of a shower afterwards instead of demotivated by the though of having to take one, vegetables!!!, not having to have a group of 4 people to leave your home, having a car to drive places instead of walking or hitch hiking, not being woken up in the middle of the night by village people doing circumcision ceremonies or witch doctors, not biting down on clumps of dirt or an occasional bug in your plate, not having to carry toilet paper in your bag all the time...etc. I could keep going but I'll save that for another post :) As much it sounds like those things are strange & uncomfortable I think I'll actually miss all of them a little bit (except the midnight witch doctor shenanigans). They were part of life here & they made this time everything it was. I couldn't have been brought to the end of myself with out them!
See you state side soon! Lots & lots of love!
Madison
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